As a child we have dreams and hopes, but we never imagine ourselves in pain or despair, but it happens. The best part of those difficult times is we have a choice. We can either let them drown us, or use them as stepping stones to rise to a higher place. For me, it’s all about amazing grace. An unearned, unsurpassed blessing that comes from how we choose to live.
No, I haven’t gone off the deep end, but rather wanted to share. Many of you may not know that I am actually a mother to 8 children, 6 of whom are with me on this earth. Five years ago we said hello and goodbye to our baby girl that was perfect in every way. Unfortunately, my body wasn’t able to keep her alive. I’ve already wrote about it in this post, so feel free to catch up and come back.
Each year we go to her graveside, for mostly our kids sake so they have something physical to see and remember. However, I know my baby is not there.
She is in the arms of her loving Savior and in a far better place than I could ever imagine for her. It is so very hard at times, especially when I can imagine a sweet towhead, blue-eyed girl running up to me with a bouquet of weeds.
As a girl, I never dreamed of burying one of my children. I never dreamed of the pain I would endure. Feeling as though my entire body was against me and wanting to scream in anger.
FEAR
I also never dreamed that I would be fighting for my life in intensive care while pregnant with my second child. Pneumonia and a staph blood infection had taken me to a lifeless state. I remember laying in the bed barely able to breathe after an episode where they thought I was gone. I told God that if one person would be touched by my experience, then let it be.
Now in life, I am happy. I find happiness in just being, and most of all having those I love with all my heart around me. Yes, I have a passion for making things beautiful or giving them new life. Honestly though, the best creation I have ever been a part of is this…
These six pair of dirt covered feet from running bare foot in our yard are priceless. God saw fit to put their lives in my and my husband’s hands. I mean, who could ask for more? Each day they are in my lives is a gift I get to open over and over. Better yet is getting to do it with my best friend.
GRIEF
We did lose another baby after our little girl, and that is when God closed my womb for a time. I had been either nursing or pregnant for 10 years and I found myself kind of lost. It was in that time that I found more amazing grace and began my business adventure.
It started out as a way to earn a much needed income for our growing family. We had bills to pay and I needed a new purpose. You may wonder how a mom of 5 could not have purpose, but I was born to create with the gifts God gave me and this was my time to let them loose.
Did I ever dream of being a blogger? NO WAY. I was one who would be appalled at owning a cell phone, being on social media, and only dreamed of a small homestead to garden and raise a family. Never in my life did I think I would own a business, let alone write for a living.
Something happened a little over 3 years ago that pushed me to jump into blogging blind as a bat. I had no idea what I was doing…not a clue. Hours of study and learning are how I pulled myself up by the bootstraps to get it done. The push to get me started was a lack of appreciation and I was tired of being ignored. My heart knew I had something to offer and I wanted to share it.
NEXT STEPS
Just imagine this homeschooling mama not only taking on a business, but a blog. eep! I did have my hard-earned college education, that again was amazing grace how that came about, but I’ll leave that to another story. If you had the time I could fill your head!
Since the onset of our adventure, we had another light fill our lives and a daughter was born to us. It wasn’t an easy journey, which I talk about here. I am ever thankful and know “things” don’t matter. I have a home, my family, my health. Just know I couldn’t have done any of it without my team; my family and God.
My days are in a constant spin, and I’ll be the first to admit I miss my old self. The one who got to just be a mom and homemaker. I even have come to resent the fact that my home is a warehouse with extra furniture in every corner. But for now, I am counting it a blessing to be able to do what I am doing. Until God leads otherwise, this is my path. My words I keep in mind each day: No regrets. No wishing I took time to do something – savoring each moment.
Something that looms on my mind is that my children will be grown and gone before I can blink. Already I feel like I miss too much because of having to work.
FAMILY
I find peace in knowing that this craziness is for a time and God will see fit to help us meet our needs. He always has and always will. Consider this…where else am I am able to homeschool my children, start a business, and adventure into an online world and profit? Amazing grace.
Because I have taken this leap of faith, I have been able to share my journey that has helped other mother’s worrying over their babies in their womb. I receive emails with prayer requests for those who needed a shoulder. And I get to share my passion with you… THANK YOU.
Thank you to the 99% of you that lift me up even when that 1% claims my brain for a time with negativity. Huge shout-out to my parents, my children, and especially my husband, JC. I am blessed beyond measure.
My hope is that you feel encouraged that no matter what comes your way, you can have that amazing grace. That strength that surpasses all understanding. For I know I would not be where I am today with out it.
“‘If you can?’ said Jesus. ‘Everything is possible for him who believes.'” Mark 9:23
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Also, more of God’s amazing grace in action:
Beautiful Larissa. Thank You Lord Jesus for Your Amazing Grace to get us through the times we feel the weakest, Your strength within us brings us through. Blessings. Neta
Amen and amen! 😀
God Bless you and your family. Sometimes the journey is hard but He is always with us
Yes He is and I’m so thankful.
Thank you for sharing your heart’s story and beliefs. Our good Lord always manages to turn our most difficult of times and troubles into something beautiful. God surely has blessed you and blessing/inspiring others by your faith and faithfulness.
I have been so blessed by others who share and am trying to return the blessing. Thank you, Diane!
That was awesome! Thank you for sharing with us. I’ve always loved reading your posts, and I LOVE your projects. I’ve always been drawn to certain people, now I know why I was drawn to you. Believe it or not, my fathers name was JC Haynes!
Say whaaat?!! How cool is that, Carole? My husband was named after his Great Grandpa in abbreviated form. I’d love to hear about your family.
His actual name was James Carter, but he always went by JC. Haynes is not very common, I wonder if we are related way down the line?? Hmmm.
Could be. My husband’s family was one of the first 13 families to settle in Ohio. Cool!
Bless you Larissa! Thank you for sharing your life with us all – you are one very brave lady. Very best wishes, from Gilly (in Cornwall, UK)
Thank you, Gilly. I’m not sure about brave, but trying to be strong. Life is hard, but oh so good.
Bless you and your family!
Thank you, Christina!
Hi Larissa,
Beautiful words and so, so true. We have to see the beauty and grace in each and every trial. We are all a gift to each other and need to treat each other as such. Your trials have been heartbreaking, yet knowing that God’s love is wrapped around you has gotten you through. Others need to hear and soak in that reminder. We will all get through life’s trials. There is an unimaginable reward at the end. Thank you for sharing.
Hugs, Carol
A reward I cannot wait for my family and I to receive, and that includes my brothers and sisters in Christ. May our family only grow! 🙂
Beautifully said. Thanks for sharing this part if your life. Blessings.
My absolute pleasure to share, Liz. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing, Larissa– your story, your faith, your talent. You are a blessing to many!!!
My pleasure. Thank you for making it worthwhile to share. 🙂
It takes guts to share such a personal and private part of your life. Thank you, Larissa, for being a light for God and a wonderful example of His love and strength.
You are truly blessed and have chosen to bless other by sharing your life with us. Thank you so very much.
Thank you, Jolinda. I see these things as ways God prepares us to help others.
You are a beacon for the rest of us. Bless you and your team.
Go team! Thank you so much, Suzanne.
You inspire me beyond words, Larissa! Thank you for opening your heart, talents, gifts, and family with us. Sending hugs your way ♥
Thank YOU for all your awesome support, Marie. Your creativity inspired me!
What a beautiful post, Larissa! ?
Thank you, Christy. 🙂
May God Bless you and your Family, a beautiful post!
Thank you for the love, Darlene. It means much.
You are so blessed with your beautiful family and wonderful husband. Everyone has a story as they say and most have suffered losses. I lost my twins a baby boy and girl, I was an emotional wreck for many years, then fourteen years ago I lost my husband to cancer and again I was devastated, but God is good once again he got me thru that I hope with some grace. Then I met my second husband so life is good again. I think life is constantly changing and with God’s good grace you can get thru anything, when one door closes another opens, you just have to be open to change and be strong, open that new door step thru and make the best life you possibly can, and keep God in your life always and he will always guide you and lift you up. Thank you for your beautiful post today. God bless.
You just never know and that’s why being thankful is what I try to do every day. God saw that you were strong enough and able to endure and found you worthy of sharing. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your testimony of God’s grace. God is good, even when life is bad! : )
Absolutely. We don’t ditch those we love when times get bad, and neither should we turn our back on God. It is hard, but I am fortunate to be able to share of His graces. Thank you, Becky!
Larissa Thank you for sharing, you are a very special person, I truly believe that God watches over us & guides our steps & puts us where he wants us to be ,a few months back we were going through a rough time trying to find housing & one of my readings popped out at me it was “It’s your time to wait & It’ My time to act” and he did. So no matter what come’s your way Keep up the Faith. God Bless Ann
What a wonderful testimony that He knows best and I am so thankful for that. Thank you, Ann. 😉
Larissa what a beautiful post. I am sorry to hear of your two heaven babies. I can only imagine how hard it must be but you are comforted in the knowledge that they are with the Lord. You have been so blessed with your family and the blog is doing great. And I personally want to thank you for helping me out in the beginning and reaching out when I was truly floundering. I have never forgotten that and see you as a mentor. May God continue to bless you and your wonderful family and inspire you to greater heights.
You are truly an inspiration Ms. Larissa!
Thank you for being a part of my world.. Hugs
Dearest Larissa, As I read your post and ponder the anguish of losing a child (I have lost 2 early in pregnancy) I was reminded of a book I read many years ago. It is titled Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss. In a world that feels it is unfair that one should die young, before having a chance to live, Mrs. Prentiss contends comes the realization that each loss has served to draw her eyes heavenward and to lovingly long not only for the sweet communion with lost loved ones but with the One who holds our lives in the palm of his hand. All your children are a wonderful blessing, each one contributing in their part to be reasons for praise to our King. Thank you for sharing your heart. To God be the glory.
I have often pondered how God used your suffering of having to be in the hospital with your last daughter to spur you on to become an entrepreneur. I have watched you flourish from the sidelines in awe! I also have two babies in heaven and am glad that you are able to witness to others who have gone through or fear loss. May God continue to bless you and encourage you to continue to be a beacon for many! ;o)
Beautiful post, Larissa, I wish we didn’t have the losses in common, but glad we have both found Grace and new purpose..thank you for being an inspiration
Larissa, you are an inspiration to me! It’s easy to post beautiful photos of “makeovers” and remodels when you have a lot of money. But you have shown that you can make beauty out of very little. Your hard work and creativity shine through! Your Christian testimony is a blessing as well. Keep on shining! I’m with the 99%.
Comforting words indeed, i lost a daughter at 36 weeks and such posts warm my heart and give me strength. God Bless you and thank you.
I’m so sorry, Hazel. Bless you!
Your light shines bright sweet girl, thank you for sharing your talent and your family and your faith!
I am blessed to get to share. Thank you so much for supporting me and showing love, Karen.
Wow…your story sounds so like mine:) I’m a homeschooling mom of five beautiful children. I started my Etsy shop because I enjoyed creating so much. Now I’ve decided to take the plunge into blog land. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve lost my mind:) But I’m so grateful to the Lord for all He’s given and I can’t imagine my life any other way:)
hahaha…you have. 😉 It’s a good thing to be busy like the Proverbs 31 woman. Thank you so much for stopping by and don’t be a stranger!
Thank you sweet girl for sharing yourself. I recently lost my nephew to heroin and just found out my father-in-law (my rock) has cancer. My world is feeling surreal right now, I can’t even think clear enough to pray anything more than “please God”! I’m not sure what I’m praying for or whether I’m asking for me, my sister, or my dad. thank you for reminding me that He is walking through this with me and will guide me to do what is right for my sister in her grief.
Karen, I’m so sorry. I have been praying for you and your family for some sort of solace in your horrible time of grief. It won’t seem like it, but God is there. Hard to see it and trust as times. I ask for wisdom for you in His name.