A blank canvas, like this screen as I type, can be daunting in many ways. Supposedly, I’m to capture your attention within a few seconds of reading. Likewise, did you know it is said you have ninety seconds in which to make a first impression when meeting someone? No pressure. There are profound ways that society and family molds us to fit in within our families, our culture, our society. Some of these things are taught, while some are learned as a means to cope subconsciously with the world around us. Maybe I’m getting a little deep, but I also plan to share with you an embroidered wool bear or two.

What I have are a couple of yards of wool suiting I picked up from a thrift store over ten years ago. You see, I adore sewing for my kids and wanted to make cute skirts for my four daughters. This is what’s left and I’ve saved for a time such as this. Another passion of mine is creating dolls and toys. Maybe it’s because I’m a kid at heart or maybe it’s because they bring me joy or even because it’s therapeutic to create with my hands. In either event, this remnant fabric is about to come to life while I share my thoughts.

CREATE

When I found this wool suiting, I had plans for it, to use it, to create in whatever fashion. Did the wool have a say in what I was going to do with it? No. It just so happens that this wool is in my maternal care to do the best that I can with it. Not abuse it, not treat it with disrespect or place negative value on it or blame it for causing me stress or work. Or to cause it harm, whether physical or emotional. Instead, I can take this wool and create beauty.

First, my joy in getting to put my vision for this into action is ten-fold. I have a chance to put life into this wool while also it provides me with what I like to call stitch-therapy. However, I need to plan and prepare a pattern, so I pull out my pencil and scrap paper and draft.

WHAT IS ART?

It’s odd to me that I’ve been told in various ways that I’m not an artist. You may find that hard to believe. What is more, you may wonder why someone would make that claim. Unfortunately, that claim on my person comes from pain, lack of self-esteem, and grandiose ideals. At the same time, this person is a result of things out of their control while being unaware of the harmful childhood past they endure. That in turn, causes them to live a trial-filled, unhappy life which then also causes them to waterfall that pain onto the next person – even their own children. They even have enablers, “flying monkeys” to do their bidding, and also assign roles.

In Jewish traditions, there is mention of a scapegoat. This animal is chosen at random for the high priest to confess the sins of the nation upon it. Then, that chosen goat is taken out and tossed over a ravine. where it plunges to its death. ¹ That’s how we get the term for the English language for placing undeserved blame upon another. Not very fun, is it?

Unfortunately, neither the person placing blame, or the person randomly chosen had any choice in this lot for their life. The lack of basic parental love for both from infancy on is the root of the problem.

ASSEMBLING

Next, it’s time to assemble. Not only my pattern, but my life. Processing things of my past while soaking in every bit of knowledge I can find. Knowledge and boundaries are powerful.

I’m piecing things together while God is showing me truths and a depth of love that is limitless.

Once I have my pieces lined up (with room for error just like in life), I begin to assemble and process my vision for my embroidered wool bear. Each piece I create and assemble is complete in love, breaking the pattern of hurt and pain that one finds in a cast-off.

While I begin to stitch, I’m careful to put nurturing love into every turn. Each part of the bear is carefully thought out as to produce the best outcome and results in a healthy development.

In thinking about how to move on from a life that is forever altered by others’ choices, I am hemming myself in with people that love me. Boundaries are to set yourself up for strength just like a seam on these bears. In addition, allowing points so that when stress comes, the seam can withstand the trial.

For it was you who created my inward parts, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well. My bones were not hidden from you when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me when I was formless, all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began.  ~ Psalm 139: 13-16

 NEW LIFE

As a mother raising my own children and breaking free from a lacking past, is showing me God is leading me out of the wilderness. My new life is not coming without growing pains. Just like these two embroidered wool bears that are ready for a new story that focuses on an all-encompassing joy, I am on the same path.

Maybe your lack of nurturing care as a child causes a similar situation in your life that was not within your control. God does not make mistakes and He has a plan for you. (Jeremiah 29:11) You did not choose where you started your life, but you choose how it ends. Focus on Him. Let’s lift one another up in prayer, in sharing, and being an ear for those who need a voice. Learning about your family of origin opens so many doors to understanding as to why you make choices like THIS.

Likewise, my stitching outside the womb shows that I may not have been sewn with all the love I deserve. As a side-effect of my own developmental experience, I can see the same kind of painful stitching in others. That they too have a story to tell.

While Boris and Maribelle bring me joy, they are up for adoption. If you’d like to adopt one or both, find them in my online store.

SHARE

As always, my goal is to inspire. What is more, I hope you engage and inspire others too while you pin and share my embroidered wool bear & thoughts. Leave some chatter below by leaving a comment. Your words and support mean more than you’ll ever know.

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Until next time!

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While you’re at it, here are more handmade projects like my embroidered wool bear: