Unfinished.
Maybe you see that word as a pessimist and say that there’s no good in an incomplete work.
Or maybe you’re the optimist that says there’s potential for completion!
The realist in me in speaking to you today.
I am UNFINISHED.
While I’ve always taught my kids that if we’re smart, we won’t stop learning until we hit the grave. Likewise, I believe I won’t stop healing until I reach my eternal home.
DEFINED
If you look at the definition of unfinished, it goes something like this:
That last bit… “not having been given an attractive surface appearance as the final stage of manufacture”.
Y’all, that’s me, that’s YOU as we’re being completed daily.
Join me in my vlog below as I share a sweet story with you. (see all Life Updates HERE)
To treat your ears to a true blessing, listen to artist, Mandisa.
Not only is it a beautiful tune, but the lyrics hit hard with me:
Not scared to say it
I used to be the one
Preaching it to you
That you could overcome
I still believe it
But it ain’t easy
‘Cause that world I painted
Where things just all work out
It started changing
And I started having doubts
And it got me so down
But I picked myself back up
And I started telling me
No, my God’s not done
Making me a masterpiece
He’s still working on me
I’ve always considered myself to be an eternal optimist.
Why would I waste time on negativity where there is joy to be found?
NO LONGER ADDICITED
However, this type of hopium (as Leslie Vernick so aptly describes it) had me putting myself aside and focused TOO HEAVY on others.
Now, don’t get me wrong, having true joy is the epitome of PEACE.
That isn’t how it always works out – to have all joy. Yes, you can have joy in the midst of hellish circumstances.
The sticky part is what you do in those circumstances and how you come out on the other side.
Also, as an aside. earlier this week I left a comment on a social post. I don’t often do that because keyboard warriors are lurking.
In a moment of wanting to share, I read the statement made by Jay Shetty in a Mel Robbins podcast, “Someone would love to live your worst day.”
I stopped in my scroll.
While I totally love how Shetty and Robbins create wonderful atmospheres of growth and I glean from them, this statement made me say, “no”.
My comment was about how my entire life I was trained to always put others first and that my reality wasn’t as bad as _______. (fill in the blank).
The problem with that is that I never allowed myself to feel sad, angry, etc. I had to whisper to myself, “but this poor soul over here just was in a car accident (or whatever issue), and you have NO REASON to complain.
It’s called diminishing.
Funny… a keyboard warrior responded to my affirmation of the podcast and truth by condescending me.
BIG SURPRISE.
Folks, you’re allowed to be sad, to feel angry, to allow yourself to feel. Wallowing in it is where it gets messy.
MEET JUNE
As I mention in vlog above, I have a special new gal in my life – June.
This sweet instrument means more than music to me.
Bringing this kind of unfinished business back into my life after I thought my fate was sealed is MONUMENTAL.
Days I didn’t feel like doing anything, I’d pick her up and the healing begins.
Feeling guilt for even taking twenty minutes a day was HEAVY because of my C-PTSD from narcissist parent and unhealthy marriage.
But I had to.
I needed to know Larissa wasn’t lost.
Did anyone care to hear me play?
NO.
But that didn’t stop me from learning any song I set my mind to.
The first song I taught myself is Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole.
Just like life, I developed calluses on my fingertips that allow me to play better, stronger.
HONEST
To be honest, June and I are strangers as of late.
During my in-home marriage separation for over two years, my heart didn’t have the music.
Then, came the no-contact with my family followed by the dissolution of my marriage.
Can you blame me?
At the same, each month I would refill June’s humilele (a humidifier that goes in the body), tune her up, maybe play my scales and then put her back in her case.
My unfinished self isn’t ready to quit though.
Are you ready to finish your story?
I AM.
Though, not ready every day.
One day at a time by taking any step I can. God is there carrying me when I can’t and when I’m striding hard.
SHARE
Do you have an unfinished story to share? Additionally, I’d l0ve to hear from you in comments below or an email. What is more, pin and share to inspire others to know they’re not alone.
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While you’re at it, here are more posts related to being unfinished:
Larissa, I won’t go into details, but I will briefly say I was a victim of a scam. One time o my! And “victim” became a wedge between me and my children….and the Lord. I knew, I had a feeling, I could have stopped. But I was lonely. I became my own victim. And I began reconstructing, and then realized I needed to listen, I read, I cried, and I, too, am unfinished. Forgiveness of oneself is brutal, hard, and so wonderful when done. That word “unfinished”, means to me I still have life, and it’s a good thing. I’ll talk to you later about this path. Love to you and blessings.
Karen
( been to many Woolly Bear Fests!)
Yes! That’s exactly what I’m conveying in this post, Karen. If we woke up today, we’re unfinished. NO quitting! 🙂
I’m so glad you found a place to allow yourself time, healing, and peace. Blessings to you, my friend.