Enough is enough.

I’m sure you’re familiar with that phrase and maybe it really resonates with you.

If that’s the case, then this post is for you.

The question, however, is, WHEN is “enough is enough” something you need to live by when it comes to toxic people – even family.

For each person, that answer will vary, of course, but maybe you’re at a crossroads and want to know how much you should allow and where do you draw the line?

To be honest, I am still learning that myself as I share in all my Life Updates. However, I’m seeing immense growth within myself, and my children and I feel that my experiences will help others forging a new path.

While I am sharing my own thoughts today, I invite you to leave any processes or information in comments below that has aided you in your own walk.

Let’s do this together.

THE DOOR

Before I close the door, I knock a thousand times.

[truth bomb] When I read that statement it hit like a thousand bricks.

Let’s break it down.

First, there is a door that is OPEN.

I define that as I’m looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. I don’t force my way in nor demand to be let in. By doing this, I’m allowing my highly empathetic self to allow others into my life with the hopes that there is potential along with respect. Additionally, there is the assumption the other person is of the same mind. A sort of invitation to join me or “let’s do this together”.

Second, there is a closing of that door, potentially.

However, the door isn’t completely closed until I’ve knocked a thousand times.

Why knock a thousand times? Why not just close the door in the first place?

What, in your mind, would qualify as a reason to close the door to the person you’ve been investing in?

In the past, I was HIGH on hopium and fall in love, essentially, with someone’s potential completely blinded by the red flags what would pop up. That being a result of being raised by a narcissist mother, then followed by marrying a person who replicated those behaviors.

It’s all I knew.

Likewise, I gave more than the benefit of the doubt by telling myself, “Maybe they’re just dealing with hard times” or “Maybe if I keep trying harder to please them it’ll get better”.

That’s a surefire way to lose yourself and forget who you are.

YOU DESERVE BETTER.

STOP KNOCKING

At what point do you stop knocking?

Maybe you’ve typically knocked a thousand times, but now you’re learning, you’re healing, and you no longer ache for approval and rather value your own self higher than before.

That is a sign of true healing.

In recent months, I have set a few boundaries with individuals, which was hard for me to do. I felt selfish for requesting a few basic limitations and it caused anxiety for me to stand firm with them.

But you know what? Those limitations were for my own peace and safety.

This is my way of “knocking” on that open door.

Without much time passing, those limitations I set were ignored. And with each instance, my “knocks” are fewer and fewer until that door closes by the other person revealing my value in their eyes.

My value to ME is of foremost importance.

Have you ever watched someone die before your very eyes?

I’m not speaking of a physical death, but rather a death of a relationship.

It’s a revelation of sorts that brings extreme sadness paired with a deep solace. You can see them for who they are, who they choose to be, and where you fit into their lives.

You let them.

And that’s a step to allowing yourself to feel because you can’t make a person want to change. If they truly value you, your requests are considered or at the very least, an apology offered if they step out of bounds.

So honestly, now, my knocking no longer consists of a thousand knocks.

Those red flags no longer take a back seat to false potential but rather wave clearer and clearer every day.

I want that for you too.

And it is okay if you have to walk away from relationships or people that just don’t see your value.

I’ll say it again… YOU DESERVE IT.

SHARE

If you’re at the point of enough is enough, you’re not alone. By sharing our stories, we can hold the hand of those needing someone who’s been there, who’s aching for better. Now it’s your time to share (please remember this is a public post – feel free to email privately). Leave a comment below as well as pin and share for others needing a voice.

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While you’re at it, here are some other posts for you along with enough is enough: