Riding on the coattails of my last post… I have a question for you. Have you ever heard of generational trauma? Better yet, does your family experience it?

Now there’s a deep thought.

In my last few posts, I’m sharing about abuse, how past abuse affects relationships, complex trauma and more. (Life Updates HERE)

HEAVY STUFF.

However, let’s say you have traits of trauma without exactly having an incident to cause it?

Maybe you need to look at your family of origin as it gets real when we talk about our deep pasts within generations.

DEFINED

If I research an official definition of transgenerational (intergenerational) trauma, this is what I find:

Transgenerational trauma refers to a type of trauma that does not end with the individual. Instead, it lingers and gnaws through one generation to the next. Families with a history of unresolved trauma, depression, anxiety, and addiction may continue to pass maladaptive coping strategies and distrustful views of life onto future generations. In this way, one can repeat the same patterns and attitudes of former generations, regardless of whether they are healthy or not.

Transgenerational trauma isn’t something that can be easily pinpointed. It is often covert, undefined, and subtle, surfacing through family patterns and forms of hypervigilance, mistrust, anxiety, depression, issues with self-esteem, and other negative coping strategies. We also know that trauma can have a significant affect on the immune system and may contribute to the generational curse of autoimmune diseases and other chronic illnesses. ¹

That makes sense, right? Our culture and families shape who we are so why wouldn’t the trauma associated with those affect us in generational terms?

Then there’s the upcoming and newly researched idea of epigenetics.

Ever heard of it or a penny for your THOUGHTS??

BIBLICAL EXAMPLES

Likewise, we can read about generational trauma in Scripture with this one example of many in God’s Word.

Abraham loved his son Ishmael who was born of his second wife Hagar, but his wife Sarah was jealous and preferred her own son Isaac. Eventually Ishmael and his wife Hagar were banished to the desert and Abraham made Isaac his sole heir. This eventually led to a breach between the descendants of Ishmael and the descendants of Isaac: those practicing Islam, and those practicing Judaism – which still exists to this day. (Genesis 16)

Abraham’s son Isaac and his wife Rebekah also repeat this pattern of displaying favoritism. They have two fraternal twins, Jacob and Esau, who were fighting even before they were born in Rebekah’s womb. Esau, the elder son, was a skillful hunter and was Isaac’s favorite. Jacob, a quiet man who was good with household duties, was Rebekah’s favorite. Eventually, Jacob and his mother together hatched a scheme to rob Esau of his birthright. They deceived Isaac by having Jacob dress up in Esau’s clothes so that he would receive his blessing. (Genesis 24)

Jacob would also have two wives Leah and Rachel. He would come to favor the sons born out of Rachel more than the ones from Leah. Eventually, the sons of Leah were driven to jealousy and resentment towards their brother Joseph who they sold into slavery to the Egyptians. (Genesis 29)

Joseph becomes blessed by God and ends up having two sons. He does not repeat this generational sin of favoritism. Between his two sons, he asks his father Jacob to bless and pray for them both. Joseph was able to notice the generational sins of his forefathers and learned something different by the grace of God. (Genesis 37) ² *my emphasis added

CAN WE STOP GENERATIONAL TRAUMA?

So why I am touching on this topic? Honestly, for one, I’m affected by it. Apparently, research shows that there’s approximately 5-20% chance of inheriting PTSD. ³

Likewise, many of you that reach out to me say the same.

That alone makes me ask questions.

What if…

What if we can stop the generational trauma and wipe the veritable slate clean?

IT IS STOPPING WITH ME.

Not only do I have been committed to making changes in myself since I accepted Christ at the age of 18 despite my family of origin, but also guiding my children so they, too, can positively affect generations to come.

As Patrick Teahan remarks, “Imagine if we valued the person to heal as much as we value the first person to go to college” in a family and really celebrated when we make changes and commit to raising a healthier generation below us.

GOOD NEWS! We can create generational resilience that will bolster the health of ours and future generations.

Fortunately, trauma survivors and their descendants can help to reduce the impact of generational trauma on future generations. Just as traumatic experiences can be passed down from one generation to the next, so can the capacity for overcoming the trauma and building resilience. ¹

In my vlog below, I speak on my own family generational trauma and resilience and invite you to interject your insights as you view your own history.

While I don’t have a long time under my belt after understanding myself to see a huge sway in change within my children, I am, however, definitely SEEING GROWTH in bounds and am excited.

WHAT ABOUT GROWN CHILDREN?

The old saying, “Age ain’t nothin’ but a number” rings true here. Whether our children are young or adult, we all can stand to heal. In my opinion, if we do life right, we never stop learning until we’re in the ground.

Thankfully, there are professionals realizing that there is much to be done to understand and heal our families. For instance, this program, Starting Fresh with Dr. Gabor Maté & Daniel Maté offers a framework for parents and adult children to transform stuck dynamics through a combination of self-reflection, somatic inquiry, and compassionate coaching. “Starting fresh” doesn’t mean the relationship will be perfect, but you will be able to engage with it in the present and approach challenges in fresh ways. *I have no personal experience with this program but greatly benefit from Dr. Mate’s work.

Here are some additional tips on how to break the cycle:

• Open up a conversation with your parents about their lived experiences and how they coped.
• Notice any embedded patterns, attitudes, or narratives from your family that you continue to portray.
• Talk through these areas with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist and consider an alternative way of coping or communicating.
• Cultivate a sense of empathy and compassion for your family and the struggles they endured.
• Despite their flaws, many our ancestors worked hard so that we could have a better life.
• This, too, should be celebrated and embraced.
• Recreate a new narrative that you want your children to embody and believe about their family, themselves, and the world. ¹

CONSIDERATIONS

What if you are the only one aware of the need for generational trauma healing?

DO IT.

Don’t wait for another person to come on board.

You need to do this for YOU.

What is more, in my research, I’ve heard of the abuser being channeled through others and that causing bumps in healing. ⁴

I can attest to that. In my sibling circle, and even in myself, I/they may portray the mannerisms of the abuser(s), and it causes triggers, though unintentional. Even my children will do same face expressions and actions of their father which is hard, at times, for me to not let it suck me in.

Becoming a healthier me, both emotionally and physically, with healthy boundaries and expectations is happening.

IT’S REAL

There is no going back and I’m taking along anyone for the ride who is willing to dive deep, to accept, to heal.

SHARE

There’s hope and healing that awaits. Share your story in comments, remembering that this is a public page. Or, if you like, send me a private email as many do. I will not share your information with anyone and I’m here for you. Also, pin and share to inspire others.

Before you go, be sure to sign up for my FREE newsletter. Until next time!

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ADDITIIONAL READING

• Breaking the Cycle: Understanding Intergenerational Trauma and Its Impact on the Next Generation
• What My Bones Know – A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma – by Stephanie Foo

FOOTNOTES

1. Breaking the Chains of Generational Trauma
2. Attachment Issues: Generational Trauma and God’s Love
3. Large Study Reveals PTSD Has Strong Genetic Component Like Other Psychiatric Disorders
4. Have you witnessed “narcissistic channeling?
5. What Is Genetic Trauma? (from video)

While you’re at it, here are more discussions related to generational trauma: