As I creep along aging every day, I often wonder what the next 5-10 years hold for me. In retrospect, if I look back 5-10 years, there is no way I would have imagined I’d be where I am. That’s the glorious and terrifying part of life. You can ask yourself, “how much worse can it get?” or “how much better will it be?” I’m a party to both camps and for whatever reason am an optimist despite life circumstances. When it comes to single mom DIY, I can honestly say I’ve been holding that title for the last 23 years.

One thing’s for sure; I’m not alone in my roles as (1) being a mother to autistic children (2) being a divorced woman after a neurodivergent relationship for 30 years (3) being a late-realized ACon (Adult Child of a Narcissist) individually. However, I feel alone as a sum. I wholeheartedly pray there is no one else that has had such a lot in life. I would NEVER trade my children for anything, so don’t get me wrong about that but the fact that I’ve had such a load in all the ways is like a lottery no one would choose to enter, particularly being an ACoN. Here’s my latest vlog below to encourage you as you tackle single mom DIY whether you’re married or not.

SEE ALL LIFE UPDATES HERE

CHOICES

Maybe you, like me, know no other way that to work and work and work as you were trained to do it. In the last few years, I can honestly say I’ve taken more time for myself now. Like before I got married. Although, I’m not one to shirk finding the silver lining. Let’s say if I hadn’t walked my walk; would I have learned to do what I can do now? I wonder…

What I plan to do with the few years, months, or days I’m given is to be more me and find Larissa again.

Have you been abused in your life? Yes, that’s a hard word… abuse. It’s real, it does not hide reality, and it reveals itself in many ways. I’m good at a fake smile and not proud of it. I’ve learned much of what I don’t like about myself is a result from abuse and CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder). Do you apologize all the time? Or have a hard time hearing you’re beautiful, or questions others kindness (like you don’t deserve it and feel guilty), and need reassurance? I feel you.

While I do allow time for myself to feel those hard feelings and realities, I also have a drive to press on. I’m worth it. And so are you.

My window cleaning solution recipe:

• ¼ cup white vinegar
• ¼ cup rubbing alcohol
• 1 Tablespoon cornstarch
• 2 cups water
• 8-10 drops essential oils, if desired

It’s often I get asked, “how do I do it all?” Well, when you are trained to not rest and to take care of others all the time it comes naturally. I’ve learned I feel guilty for sitting still. In my mind I daydream about laying on a couch to watch a show. My kids will be at their dad’s, and I could sit and do that, but I struggle with hypervigilance. “I can’t just sit there… I need to… “. Does that sound like you? I feel you.

Thankfully, I’m challenging myself to doing just sit. I sat and watched a movie two evenings in a row by myself. And it felt good. While I understand not everyone can relate, I’m hoping to give a voice to those who can.

I also went out to eat by myself. It’s not a fear of being alone in public, etc, but rather a guilt of spending that time and money on myself. I’ll be honest, I did it and have done it before, but guilt ensues. “I could have used the money for… “.

Baby steps.

REALITY

Joy can be found amidst trials for sure. At the same time, it’s perfectly okay to be joyless, for a time. That’s the key. If someone says to you, “how are you?” It’s raw to say, “I’m here”. It’s honest and a truth instead of saying, “I’m good. How are you?”

I find joy in single mom DIY because I am able. God has granted me the ability to learn new things, to work hard, and to share that knowledge with others. When I was asked what I might do one day when my kids are grown and gone my instant reply, “nothing… just nothing. I want to rest and be”.

Can you relate to that?

At the same point, I’ve had more energy and strength in these last years because I’m working hard to be healthy. I’ve always been active, maybe too active, and enjoy physical activity. And cortisol is stealing my life creating high insulin. However, as you can see in my Fit Over 40 post, I had some work to do. I’m getting there.

Likewise, my balance is insane, like the best of my life after training and switching to barefoot/minimalist lifestyle over two years ago. I run and lift barefoot, train my feet, and have no more back or knee pain, and my chain is better than ever. (my chain meaning my entire neck, spine, pelvic, and legs/feet) You can do it too.

GROWING

It’s a fact we never stop learning if we are wise. Each day offers opportunity, and I don’t mean in doing, I mean learning. I can learn to sit still. I can learn to understand myself. I’m growing up, y’all. In ways that only God can lead.

Like my garden yet to birth bounty and beauty, I know Larissa is going to bloom.

SHARE

You’re a part of this journey, and I thank you. Without you, my purpose in writing is feeble. I welcome your thoughts below and I covet your prayers. By sharing and pinning I hope to reach other single mom DIY ladies who can use a “hug”.

Before you go, be sure to sign up for my FREE newsletter. Until next time!

PINTEREST | EMAIL

While you’re at it, here are more posts like single mom DIY: